Caillou's Wonderland
by Coldsteel Da Hedgeheg
Summary: Get ready for the ride of a life time!


One summer morning, much like today, it was 60°F outside and partly cloudy. You and Caillou were walking down the street until suddenly Caillou asks you with an evil grin on his face "Do you know what it feels like to die?" To which you reply "No." He then asks "Do you want to know what it feels like to die?" You think for a few seconds and respond with another "No." This causes Caillou to switch his evil, mischievous grin for an angry, disappointed scowl. "W-what?! Why not?!" Caillou asks astonished. You just shrug, Caillou is still upset, but keeps quiet while you two keep on walking.

You then both walk by a park. Caillou jumps up and down frantically, telling you to join him for some playtime. You agree. Caillou, with his back hunched as he lets out a creepy smile and rubs his hands together, says "Let's slide down the slide." He lets out, feverish, eerie laughs as you both approach the slides. Then you, like the clueless retard you are, have not been taking the uncanny little brat's scary questions and actions seriously, instead of running away you follow him.

You are now on top of the slide. Caillou eyes you like spider would to a fly and says "Why don't you go in first?" You just nod your head in agreement. As you enter the slide and are already 2-feet in you hear Caillou laughing like a maniac. You continue to slide down, but 3 feet before the exit you are stopped. It looks like someone welded bars to the slide, making it impossible to exit it through the normal route. Trapped, You panic and try to take the unorthodox exit by climbing up the slide. Yet, you fail, you slip down on every try. Caillou hears the thud your body makes against the slide as you fail multiple times to escape, this causes him to emit a frenzy of hysterical laughs.

You then realize there is no hope of getting out, so you lay there, giving up on any more attempts to leave. Caillou then finally says in a feverish tone "I'm coming down . My turn now!" Caillou dashes down the slide, with knife in hand, he pounces on you and stabs you until you die! Soon blood began to drip down the slide and unto the bark in the playground.

Then you wake up in your attic and realize it was all a dream. Somehow you have a VHS titled "Caillou's Lost Episode" in your right hand. Curious, you put it in your VHS and press play. The shows starts normally with the usual

"I'm just a kid who is four,

each day I grow some more,

I like exploring, Im Caillou" .

Once the main theme ends and the show starts, the camera is focused on Caillou. Except he has hyper-realistic bloodshot eyes, a black shirt with skulls on it, and he is covered in blood. A few minutes into the show, Mommy, Daddy and Rosie entered the room. Caillou's family was shocked to see him that way. They stared at his eyes, soon they turned into skeletons. Caillou then proceeded to playschool and turned Sarah, Clementine, Jim, Andre, the rest of his classmates and teachers into skeletons. Then the screen flashed black and white and there appeared red letters that read "You are next." The t.v. then turned off and you saw your own reflection to realize that you too became a skeleton.

But then you wake up and realize that you didn't turn into skeleton, however, the "Caillou's Lost Episode" VHS was still real. The next day the Kid's Cartoon Convention was conveniently being held in your town. You went there and met up with Christine L'Heureux -creator of the Caillou show. You speak to her and realize she is very good and kind person. Once you gained her trust a little, you ask her about the lost episode. As she heard your question regarding why it was created, she stared blankly and silently into space, her eyes began to water. After snapping out of the gloomy trance she was in spoke up " There are many things in this world that I don't why they happen, they just do. That episode of Caillou you speak of is one of them. Please, don't ever mention it again, I beg you!" she said calmly in between sobs.

At the convention, you also learn that all three voices behind Caillou to ever exist were three hot girls named Jaclyn Lynetsky, Annie Bovaird, and Bryn McAuley. You didn't know whether to be turned on by their voices -the ladies being hot and all (they are all 20 something years old, but Lynetsky died when she was 17)- or be annoyed by their voices since they are those of the whiniest little tard to ever be written into a cartoon. Mind-blown and distraught, you run to your house and decide to kill yourself after witnessing today's revelations. Being the dumbass you are, you shot yourself with a tranquilizer gun rather than real one, you scrub!

You later wake up and realize you aren't home anymore. You are in some room cushioned all over the floor and walls with a red silky cloth of some sort, there are also many pillows and curtains. The aroma of onions and lube fill your nose, burning your hairs. You look out the window and find that you are in a swamp. You turn around to see various anthropomorphic beings behind you. One was a sponge wearing brown ,square pants, a blue hedgehog, a black and red hedgehog, an aardvark wearing a yellow sweater and blue jeans and glasses, some fat man in a yellow shirt with purple overalls and yellow hat with a "W" in the middle, Chris Thorndyke from Sonic X, Ash Ketchum, Master Chief and a whole bunch of other retards.

"Where am I?" You say to all those weirdos. "Why, your in the dear, supreme leader Shrek the ogrelord of the best korea, North Korea's super, special, secret harem ," said spongebob. " It's been a week since he has taken over the country and he has now brought it to a new age of peace and prosperity," added Sanic.

Sanic was right. Shrek took North Korea and renamed it to "The People's Sexy Shrekist Republic of North Korea. Shrek had invented a new form of communism in which the government must print 10,000 North Korean Shrokars (NKSHRK) -the countries newest currency- for everyone of it's citizens. One NKSHRK was worth a whopping $20 USD, making Shrekist Korea the world's #1 world power. Butthurt, the capitalists americans decided to go to the new North Korea and take their jerbs! Well, the whole world was butthurt, but the 'Muricans even more since they were so rudely taken off the #1 spot on greatest economic powers. Soon, millions of illegal, undocumented american aliens flooded the North Korean border and some even obtained citizenship.

Suddenly, a man's voice with a scottish accent calls out your name from behind white curtains. You approach the room and enter to find out it's shrek, omg! That was never hinted at, right? Anyway he sees you enter as he lays on a bed. "Hi, there. It's your turn to have some fun," says Shrek, moving his brows up and down. He gets up and grabs you against your will. You scream so loud that it is heard through out all North Korea, or at least would be if it weren't for all the north Koreans building replica cities of Dubai and Singapore all around the country to accommodate their newly rich population . Shuerk puts you on all fours and-

Scene missing

-It was finally over... Shrek, now spooning you, tells you how impressed he was that he makes you vice president.

You live the rest of your life with a net worth of 2,000,000,000 North Korean Shrokars.

Then you wake up and realize it was all real, except for the parts that were dreams.

The End


End file.
